Monday, 12 January 2015

Sorting Out Self-Esteem



Book Summary



Sorting Out Self-Esteem - Grant Brecht


Self-esteem is all about liking ourselves, warts and all.

If we choose to focus on what we can`t do in like and what we don’t have of course we will demotivate ourselves, our self-esteem and self-confidence will take a real dive. However, if we choose to focus instead on what we can do, and what we have done in life and build on that, our self-esteem is likely to take a positive surge forward or at a least maintain a healthy level.

Self-esteem is something we develop as we travel the journey of life.

A healthy level of self-esteem is one of the greatest gifts we can give to our children or model for other people.

Beware the Victim Trap and low self-esteem cycle.

Self-esteem - Where does it come from?
  • ·         Parents;
  • ·         Peers;
  • ·         Achievements;
  • ·         Ourselves.
Phrase that may affect your self-esteem in a very negative way are:

  • ·         Inflexible – I will never get it right
  • ·         Irrational – I should not make mistakes.
  • ·         Negative – I am really so hopeless
  • ·         Stressful – I can`t stand it
  • ·         Distorted – it`s a catastrophe.
  • ·         Upsetting – I`m an idiot alright


Phrase that may affect your self-esteem in a positive way are:

  • ·         Flexible – everyone make mistakes
  • ·         Adaptable – what can I learn from all this?
  • ·         Rational – it`s not the end of world
  • ·         Positive – I did everything else pretty well
  • ·         Solution-orientated – what`s the best thing for me to do now?


Practice is a vital element.

We need to be assertive, not passive or aggressive with our behavior.

Proper problem-solving and goal settings leads to more and more achievements, so:


1.       Define the problem
2.       Consider all solutions
3.       Evaluate all solutions
4.       Select a solution
5.       Plan your attack
6.       Try and test your plan.

Low self-esteem leads to: poor self-image, depression, lack of achievement, the “poor me” trap, life wastage.

Develop tolerance and patience
Be self-motivating- catch your self being well.

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