Sorting Out Self-Esteem - Grant Brecht
Self-esteem is all about liking ourselves, warts and all.
If we choose to focus on what we can`t do in like and what we don’t have of course we will demotivate ourselves, our self-esteem and self-confidence will take a real dive. However, if we choose to focus instead on what we can do, and what we have done in life and build on that, our self-esteem is likely to take a positive surge forward or at a least maintain a healthy level.
Self-esteem is something we develop as we travel the journey of life.
A healthy level of self-esteem is one of the greatest gifts we can give to our children or model for other people.
Beware the Victim Trap and low self-esteem cycle.
Self-esteem - Where does it come from?
- · Parents;
- · Peers;
- · Achievements;
- · Ourselves.
Phrase that may affect your self-esteem in a very negative way are:
- · Inflexible – I will never get it right
- · Irrational – I should not make mistakes.
- · Negative – I am really so hopeless
- · Stressful – I can`t stand it
- · Distorted – it`s a catastrophe.
- · Upsetting – I`m an idiot alright
Phrase that may affect your self-esteem in a positive way are:
- · Flexible – everyone make mistakes
- · Adaptable – what can I learn from all this?
- · Rational – it`s not the end of world
- · Positive – I did everything else pretty well
- · Solution-orientated – what`s the best thing for me to do now?
Practice is a vital element.
We need to be assertive, not passive or aggressive with our behavior.
Proper problem-solving and goal settings leads to more and more achievements, so:
1. Define the problem
2. Consider all solutions
3. Evaluate all solutions
4. Select a solution
5. Plan your attack
6. Try and test your plan.
Low self-esteem leads to: poor self-image, depression, lack of achievement, the “poor me” trap, life wastage.
Develop tolerance and patience
Be self-motivating- catch your self being well.